i am reminded that we are all living this life for the first time

I’m regularly reminded that we’re all living this life for the first time. 

I’m reminded in small ways, when someone blushes over a compliment they've heard a thousand times or when you can see excitement in someone's eyes. 

I’m especially reminded of this when I speak to my mother. 

My mom spent the week with me in California and upon returning to her empty home, she texted me and said “bought myself flowers hoping to brighten my sad lonely house.”

Followed with a photo:

My roommate left on a one-way ticket to Hawaii yesterday and for some reason, on my way home from work, I stopped and bought myself flowers. 

I went home and designed the perfect bouquet of orange flowers to put on my desk. I texted my mom.

My mother, recently single, living alone for the first time in her life, wanted flowers in her home. I think maybe what she really wanted was noise, the sound of her kids running around. or maybe even a small sense of joy in the chaos of this life. 

Me, alone in an apartment too big for one, wanted flowers in my home. because the flowers represent beauty and sometimes I struggle to see beauty in the outside world. but in my room, I have a physical representation of beauty, of growth, of a life well lived.